I feel like I’m being tested.

I admit last week that I care about my blog traffic and immediately after, it tanks. As in, drops almost 200%. Which feels like a swift kick in the pants.

It also feels like I’m being tested.

Is that the only thing that’s keeping me going?

Will the drop rattle me enough to lose motivation or put me into full on writer’s block?

Do I care enough that it will make me stop writing?

Or, worse yet, label my efforts as a total failure because no one like what I was doing even though I wrote every day? 

The more I think about it, the more I realize that my definition of success is directly tied to outward markers like money, blog traffic, social media following, or likes on a photo.

I also have a similarly restrictive definition of what it means to be working; sitting in front of a computer and writing, responding to emails, writing copy. The definition is never wide enough to include things like meetings, coffee dates, or having fun.

If this is a test, I’m okay with it.

My definition of what it means to be successful (and even what it means to be working) could stand to be shaken up and reworked.

Challenge accepted, Universe.

Challenge accepted.

More about Emily Levenson

Emily Levenson is a therapist turned holistic health coach, podcaster, meditation encourager, and seeker of everyday magic. Emily recently kicked off her third #The100DayProject, focusing her efforts on daily meditation.

2 thoughts on “I feel like I’m being tested.

  1. Wayne Smith

    I feel like blogs are tough in general these days. It’s hard to pull someone from their "streams" to take time to read or look at something. It’s a headline or nothing it feels like sometimes.

    And metrics suck anyway. Play the long game and keep doing what you do. Success comes in many forms, not just ad revenue.


    1. Emily Levenson

      Thank you for your comment, Wayne. You are so very right.

      And I do agree that metrics aren’t the end all be all. And that success comes in many forms. I’m taking this as an opportunity to stretch myself and redefine what success means FOR ME.


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