I may not make it out of toddlerhood alive.

There are some days that make you want to pop open a bottle of wine, eat all of the chocolate within a 10 mile radius, and hoard every last Joe Joe they’ve ever made.

This was totally one of those days.

(And yes, I do know why I have a really hard time cutting out sugar from my life. Thank goodness we didn’t have any of the aforementioned in the house. But I digress.)

The Babe had a hard time getting OUT of the car when we got home from Gymboree. Which led to a 20 minute screaming and whining fest that ended only when she saw The Cat. Then came nap time, which brought on another 20 minute bout of hysterics and screams for MAMA UP PLEASE.

Her nap lasted not long enough and ended with more screams.

Those screams began and ended with CUDDLE CHAIR and her falling asleep on me for an hour. That seemed to make it all better, but only until it was time for bed. Because GOD FORBID Mama walked past her door while getting a diaper change.

The Husband tried to keep her distracted but ended up getting hit and told to WALK AWAY. So we both did. But that only made her more hysterical. Once she finally calmed down, Mama made the mistake of not putting on the right pajamas, which led to more feelings and even more hitting and screaming. It also led to some hair pulling (mine), frustration (mine and The Husband’s), and exasperation. We finally had some semblance of the bedtime routine until it was time to lay down. That brought on a phantom poopy diaper and a handful of requests for Tylenol.

I’m placing bets on whether she gets up in the middle of the night, and as to how easily it will be to get her back to down to sleep (if that’s even possible) or whether she’ll end up sleeping on me. Again.

Toddlers, man.

This phase has me questioning a lot of things.

It has me question my own emotions and how I express them, particularly in front of her. It has me question how I redirect her and manage the way she has been expressing her emotions. And it makes me think about how scary those things must be for her, as she is learning how to navigate it all.

It’s also left me feeling pretty helpless and extremely exhausted.

And while I know that I’m not alone in the struggle, I truly don’t know how children make it past Toddlerhood with the shenanigans they pull during this phase of life.

Just trying to stay curious without beating myself up for the irony that has been commingling with my words as of late.

Key word here: trying.

More about Emily Levenson

Emily Levenson is a therapist turned holistic health coach, podcaster, meditation encourager, and seeker of everyday magic. Emily recently kicked off her third #The100DayProject, focusing her efforts on daily meditation.

2 thoughts on “I may not make it out of toddlerhood alive.

  1. Courtney Duzyk

    I feel like I was an amazing mom to an infant and most days I feel like I am a terrible mom to a toddler. I know it’s mostly Little B’s frustration at not being able to express himself, especially with all the changes going on in our lives right now. I think the thing that makes me so frustrated is the unpredictability. I’ve never been one for surprises, and every day is a surprise with a toddler for sure. There are lots of tears (from both of us!) I keep reminding myself of the happy little boy who runs to hug me when I pick him up from daycare, the after bathtime cuddles, and all his goofy smiles, and I figure I must be doing something right.

    You are definitely not alone. <3


    1. Emily Levenson

      This whole parenting thing is hard. And amazing. And uncomfortable. And amazing. And challenging. And amazing. Even with all of the ups and downs I am grateful to have this little girl in my life. She has already taught me so many things about myself, about life, about emotions. I’m a little nervous, but mostly excited for what’s to come.

      Hang in there, lady. I am guessing that you are much more skilled than you give yourself credit for. It seriously helps to talk with other mama’s about the challenges and day-to-day struggles of parenting. Here whenever you need a chat (and a hug and a glass of wine). xo


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