I’m thinking about changing my name.

Sleep has always been a bit touch and go in our house.

When The Babe was a mere infant, it would take 4-5 tries of singing while rocking her to sleep and slowly (and QUIETLY) laying her down, otherwise she’d pop up and the dance would start all over again.

As she got older, her sleep became more steady. But it was also riddled with early mornings (some days began at 3:30 AM) and many short cat naps throughout the day.

The first time she slept for 13 hours straight, The Husband and I thought something was wrong.

The first time she slept past 7:00 AM, we had a moment of panic. Is she sick? Did she sneak out of her room? Did The Dog eat her alive?

Somewhere around 18-20 months, she settled into a beautiful rhythm of going to bed at 8:00 PM and getting up around 7:00 AM. And we REVELED in it. The Husband and I had quality time together zoning out in front of the television. We lounged in bed in the mornings, enjoying a moment of quiet before The Babe woke up.

It was the good life.

And then, something happened.

We still don’t know what it was, but wish we could turn back time and knock it the fuck out of town, because the last four nights have been a living hell.

Two and a half hours of The Babe screaming MAMA COME BACK IN PLEASE and MAMA SNUGGLE CHAIR before finally passing out. Only to be awakened a few hours later with more screaming.

Sadly, it doesn’t get any better during the day.

Nap time is a thing of the past. What was once a quiet break for everyone is now filled with hysterics and tantrums. She’s too tired to do anything, but too stubborn (or scared?) to let herself fall asleep.

I’m trying to remember that this too shall pass, but the exhaustion is making it hard to see past this moment in time.

I want my sweet, sleeping baby back.

I want my personal space back.

And I want to feel nothing but immense love for the little monster I brought into this world. Because right now, all I’m feeling is tired and frustrated and like I’m about to lose my shit at any given moment in time.  

How do you manage sleep time stress?

Was there something that worked magic for you and yours? Was it just “do what you have to in order to make it through the day?”

I know there are plenty of books and sleep gurus out there (I even have a book or two), but haven’t found one that’s worked for us yet…

More about Emily Levenson

Emily Levenson is a therapist turned holistic health coach, podcaster, meditation encourager, and seeker of everyday magic. Emily recently kicked off her third #The100DayProject, focusing her efforts on daily meditation.

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