What happens when you follow the breadcrumbs of your curiosity?

When I came up with the idea to do a 100 day blogging challenge, I was desperate for a chance. I had begun to feel boxed in and creatively blocked as the result of a super specific niche that I had created for myself. I was looking for a way to shake things up, to write without overthinking, and to try on new styles of writing.

Writing for 100 consecutive days definitely forced me out of my self imposed prison and allowed me to play again.

Something else happened, though.

Taking risks and trying on new identities with my writing made me feel super exposed and self-conscious. I began to question myself and my ability to write. I started to feel like I wasn’t good enough or that my writing was just sub-par. I also had this impending sense of doom, as though I had created a set of expectations that I was unable to live up to anymore. 

I began to obsess over the numbers and allowed myself to get caught up in the pursuit of growth, thinking that my blog (or social media) stats would help me see that I was on the right path.

(Spoiler alert: it didn’t. It just made me crazy.)

At the end of the 100 days, I felt an immense amount of pride at what I had accomplished. But I also felt just as lost as I had when I started.

Yes, I had flexed my creative muscles and tried on a whole host of different writing styles. I even began posting recipes again, finally coming full circle to the part of blogging that I had loved so long ago.

But I also felt unsure of where I was going or who I was writing for. And was disappointed that the end felt anticlimactic because there wasn’t a huge AHA moment or pretty red bow left behind to wrap it all up in a neat little package for me.

So I just kept at it.

I kept writing, kept putting stuff out there, and kept sharing about the journey. All in the hopes that something (anything) would start to come into focus.

As Elizabeth Gilbert would say, I followed the breadcrumbs of my curiosity.
 
The other night, while lying in bed and doing a meditation, it happened. That lightening bolt of inspiration struck, and everything came into focus. I was finally able to see the big picture. The reason I chose to name the site what I did, how the food ties in with the personal growth and development, and why the stories and posts that have been resonating most with people have been resonating most with people.

Those breadcrumbs led me where I needed to go.

A place where the mind, body, and spirit are all nourished and fed—where I can share recipes and encourage people to journal and meditate—and no one will question why. Because this is who I am to the core; someone who shares of myself and the things that feed me. The WHOLE me.

I am so excited to continue honing this in and delving deeper.

I have some big things to share, things that I am furiously working to put out with another ten in the hopper.

In the meantime, I am going to sit with this energy and excitement so that I can always remember what inspiration feels like. The deep sense of purpose, the steady energy and excitement, and the explosion of ideas.

THIS is the place I always want to operate from. And I am so glad to have found myself here again.

X+O

More about Emily Levenson

Emily Levenson is a therapist turned holistic health coach, podcaster, meditation encourager, and seeker of everyday magic. Emily recently kicked off her third #The100DayProject, focusing her efforts on daily meditation.

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