Who says it all has to be good?

When did it become A THING to only share the good stuff?

And for the love of God, why is it considered a serious faux pas to share the frustrations and the struggles in life without having an empowering ending?

I’m sure this frustration dates back to our struggles to get pregnant. Before I opened up about them, it was a dark spot in my life that I tried hard to bury. I would force a smile, share stories of excitement and lighthearted fun, and post things that made my life seem like it was all rainbows and sunshine.

The reality, though, was much darker. I felt like I was sinking deeper and deeper into an achingly dark hole and didn’t know how to get myself out. I remember a conversation with my husband where I told him I thought life wasn’t worth living if I couldn’t get pregnant.

Every book, article, and post about getting pregnant all talked about the power of gratitude and focusing on the good in your life. And while I knew the logic behind it, emotionally it simply felt like a big fat joke.

Yes, I could find the beauty in my day to day life, and there was plenty that I was grateful for, but that approach completely negated my sadness, heartbreak, and disappointment and caused me to feel like I was living two separate lives. It wasn’t until I was finally able to embrace that duplicity in my life and experiences, that I could work to change them.

In fact, any time I’ve ignored an emotion in my life or tried to suppress it (hello, anger), it has only intensified.

Perhaps that’s why I’m having such a hard time with the perfectly curated version of the world we are being exposed to at every turn. It feels like a bunch of half-truths that have created an impossible standard to live up to. Even for the folks that are creating it.

Life is messy.

Life is challenging.

Life is not picture perfect.

Life is anything but one dimensional.

And that is precisely what makes it beautiful and worthwhile and exciting.

More about Emily Levenson

Emily Levenson is a therapist turned holistic health coach, podcaster, meditation encourager, and seeker of everyday magic. Emily recently kicked off her third #The100DayProject, focusing her efforts on daily meditation.

4 thoughts on “Who says it all has to be good?

  1. Shannon Mahaney

    I so agree! It seems like all people ever talk about is the good in their lives. Open up. Let your faults and flaws show. I’ve been working on a personal post the past couple of days that I am sure will make people upset or angry. But I don’t care. It’s how I feel and it may not be perfect.

    Reply

    1. Emily Levenson

      It’s frustrating. NO ONE’S life is that perfect, happy or free from struggle. I look forward to checking out your post!

      Reply

  2. Hilary Schenker

    Great post. It sure is challenging to share the negative, though, so I understand why sometimes things are so carefully curated online. Whenever I catch myself thinking that someone else’s life is perfect, though, I remind myself that we’re all only human and I really have no idea.

    Reply

    1. Emily Levenson

      Thank you Hilary! I totally get when it’s a professional site or fan page, but even then I think it’s super important to be vulnerable and show others that you are human. Often, those are the posts that gain the most traction and resonate most strongly with people.

      Reply

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