For whatever reason, this season of my life has been extremely difficult. We have been struggling with my daughter’s behavior a lot, causing me to feel overwhelmed and like I’m failing her in some way.
Add to that some existential angst of my own and it’s been a cluster fuck of shame, guilt, anger, frustration, sadness, and pure exhaustion.
My escape for a long time now has been to pull out my phone and zone out on whatever social media app holds my interest. Which is counterproductive and entirely unhelpful with my daughter who acts up even more in a bid to get my attention.
Two weeks ago, I decided that it was time to take another break from social media (interesting timing since this is exactly when I signed off last year) and shut down everything, including the podcast.
Two weeks into my break, I signed back on to see how I felt. Within two days of having the apps back on my phone, I found myself sucked right back in and feeling tense and anxious.
The more I thought about how these platforms made me feel — really and truly made me feel — the more I began to question why I was there in the first place. It was a distraction, yes, but not a helpful one.
A few days ago, it occurred to me that I didn’t have to be on there. That I could opt out at any point.
And so I did!
I deleted my Twitter account (OMG did that feel good) and I am in the process of deleting my FB account (page and profile).
The only place that makes me feel anything positive is Instagram. Not because it presents a glossy and stylized view of the world — I know it does that — but because of the infinite number of accounts that I stumble across every day that inspire me and fill me up.
Because that is exactly how I want to feel.
Life is too short and too precious in my eyes to feel anything less. And since I am the one in the drivers seat, I get to choose where my time and attention go.
And for now, I’m choosing to focus those things on what I value most: taking care of my family and myself. It may sounds extreme to some, but to me, it feels like the ultimate act of self-care.
What about you? Have you ever thought about opting out of social media, either for a short break or a permanent vacation?